Getting comfortable in the unknown feels impossible—because how? How do you settle into a space where the answers aren’t clear, where the future feels uncertain, and where control slips right through your fingers? It almost seems like an oxymoron.

But lately, I’ve been realizing that our discomfort with the unknown isn’t really about the uncertainty itself. It’s about our need for control and our struggle with trust.

The Illusion of Control

We spend so much of our lives trying to map out every detail, planning and strategizing so that we can feel secure. But the reality is, control is an illusion. No matter how much we prepare, life has its own rhythm. There will always be moments when things don’t go according to plan—when we’re forced to step into something new, something unpredictable. And instead of resisting, maybe the key is to lean in.

What if, instead of fearing the unknown, we saw it as an invitation? An opportunity to trust that we are exactly where we need to be, even if we don’t fully understand why.

The Power of Trust

Trusting the process is easier said than done, but it’s essential. Trust doesn’t mean we sit back and do nothing. It means we take a deep breath, quiet the noise of fear, and choose to believe that things are unfolding in our favor. It means acknowledging that even when we don’t have all the answers, we can still move forward.

Think about the moments in your life when things felt uncertain but ended up working out in ways you never expected. Those experiences are proof that life has a way of sorting itself out, even when we can’t see the bigger picture in the moment.

Staying Open to the Moment

So, how do we actually get comfortable in the unknown? We take it one step at a time.

We pause. Breathe. Let our inner selves settle. And instead of fixating on what we don’t know, we focus on what we do know: We are here. We are willing. We are capable.

The discomfort we feel in uncertain times isn’t permanent. It’s just a phase, a moment in time that will eventually pass. And in the meantime, we can stay open. We can embrace the moments that make us feel something. We can trust that what’s ahead is worth stepping into, even if we can’t see it just yet.

The unknown isn’t the enemy. It’s the beginning of something new.

Work Backwards: Mapping the Path to Your Goals

I recently heard some great advice at a dinner: “What is the end goal?” If you know where you want to be, you can reverse-engineer the steps to get there. A few weeks earlier, someone else mentioned that they always plan five years ahead and then work backward to achieve their goals. That got me thinking—how can I apply this strategy to different areas of my life?

1. Love: Becoming the Person I Want to Attract

Marriage is a long-term goal, but first, I need to date with intention. More importantly, I need to embody the qualities I seek in a partner. Am I showing up as the best version of myself? Do I have the traits, habits, and mindset that I’d admire in someone else? If I want a committed, emotionally mature partner, I need to ensure I reflect those same values.

2. Career: Building a Legacy in Media Consulting

My vision is to create a media consultancy composed of top-tier journalists, making our firm the go-to for getting people on TV. But before that can happen, I need to attract journalists who align with this mission. That means building a strong network, sharing my vision clearly, and positioning myself as a leader they want to work with. Step by step, I’ll develop the infrastructure to make this a reality.

3. Finances: Reaching $100K in Cash Savings (I am no where near this, but I can make it a goal)

Saving $100,000 is a big goal, but breaking it down makes it achievable. First, I need to set a clear budget—understanding my income, expenses, and spending patterns. Then, I must identify where I can cut costs without sacrificing quality of life. Whether that means adjusting subscriptions, dining out less, or increasing my income streams (sell more Shayne and Lovmore Journals), each small step moves me closer to my financial milestone.

The Exit Strategy: What’s Next After the Goal?

Reaching the goal is just one part of the journey—what happens after? Once I attract the right partner, how do I nurture a lasting relationship? Once my media firm is established, how do I scale it into a powerhouse? Once I hit my savings goal, how do I invest and sustain financial growth? The key to long-term success isn’t just achieving the goal—it’s planning for what comes after.

By working backward from my ultimate vision, I can take intentional steps today that lead to the future I want. What goals are you working toward, and how can you reverse-engineer your path to success?

Celebrating Friendship Without Spending a Dime

Friendship is one of life’s greatest gifts. It’s the kind of love that shows up when you need it most, sometimes in ways you don’t even realize until you take a step back. Over the past year, I’ve been through my share of ups and downs, and two of my friends have been there through it all—picking up Uber rides, treating me to drinks, and, most importantly, offering grace when I wasn’t at my best. This week, I’m celebrating them with a simple, heartfelt dinner at home, just to say thank you. And it got me thinking: the best ways to honor our friendships don’t have to cost money.

Here are a few meaningful, cost-free ways to celebrate the people who lift you up:

1. Host a Gratitude Dinner

Sharing a homemade meal is a beautiful way to express gratitude. Cooking for someone is an act of love, and it’s even more special when it’s simply to celebrate them. Set the table, add a little ambiance with candles or music, and enjoy quality time together.

2. Write a Heartfelt Letter

We live in a fast-paced world where texts and DMs are the norm, but nothing compares to a handwritten letter. Take a moment to write down what your friend means to you, recalling specific memories that make you smile. It’s something they can hold onto forever.

3. Offer Your Time and Skills

One of the greatest gifts you can give is your time. Whether it’s helping your friend organize their closet, running an errand together, or offering your skills—like doing their hair, proofreading something for them, or helping with a personal project—it’s a simple yet powerful way to show you care.

4. Create a Personalized Playlist

Music has a way of capturing emotions words can’t always express. Create a playlist of songs that remind you of your friend or tracks that have been the soundtrack to your friendship. They’ll think of you every time they hit play.

5. Have a Heart-to-Heart Walk

A walk through a park, by the water, or around the neighborhood can be the perfect setting for deep conversations. Sometimes, just talking and being present is the best way to show appreciation.

6. Shout Them Out Publicly

If your friend doesn’t mind a little public praise, post about them on social media. Share a photo or a simple message about what makes them amazing. Sometimes, people don’t realize how much they mean to others until it’s said out loud.

7. Watch Their Favorite Movie or Show Together

Take an evening to binge-watch their favorite show or a classic movie they love. Add popcorn, cozy blankets, and laughter, and you have a perfect, cost-free way to bond.

8. Give Them a Digital Scrapbook or Video Montage

If you have photos and videos from past adventures, put together a digital scrapbook or a video montage with a heartfelt message at the end. It’s a keepsake they’ll cherish.

9. Simply Say Thank You

Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is look your friend in the eye and say, “Thank you for everything.” Let them know how much their kindness has meant to you. A sincere thank-you carries more weight than any expensive gift ever could.

At the end of the day, friendship is about showing up, being present, and letting people know they’re loved and valued. And that doesn’t require a price tag—just intention.

To my friends, and to all the friends out there holding each other down: thank you. You are appreciated more than words can express.

There’s something magical about receiving flowers. Whether they arrive unexpectedly or for a special occasion, their beauty has a way of making us pause and appreciate the moment.

I recently saw a clip that said, flowers are a reminder to live in the moment. They grow, bloom, and have a moment to be adored and celebrated. Remember that the next time you buy or send someone flowers. Smile and enjoy the moment of blooming. The future doesn’t matter; make this moment special. This moment is special.

Flowers teach us an important lesson: life, like a bloom, is temporary. Each petal, each fragrance, each burst of color is a reminder that beauty exists in the here and now. When you hold a bouquet in your hands or see a vase filled with fresh-cut flowers on your table, it’s an invitation to embrace the present fully.

The joy of receiving flowers isn’t just about their aesthetic appeal. It’s a reminder to be beautiful now, to live in your greatness in this moment.

So, the next time you receive flowers, don’t just place them in water and move on with your day. Admire them. Inhale their fragrance. Let them remind you to savor the moment. And if you’re thinking of someone special, send them a bouquet—not just to celebrate them, but to share a reminder that right now, this moment, is worth cherishing.

This word evokes so many emotions for me. Excited, busy, moving, unknown, unsure, uncertain and stuck just to name a few. I am a planner. I want to know the plan, write a checklist and prepare. When you are in transition it’s impossible to plan. You have to take things day-by-day and moment-by-moment, which is terrifying for me.

God, is calling me to stretch and I’m not sure what that looks like. What it feels like… is fear. Transition means the process of changing from one state or condition to another. It simply means to put one foot in front of the other and move. It’s an action word. Keep moving and you will find yourself along the way.

In times like these, when everything feels uncertain—when grocery prices climb higher and the political landscape shifts in ways that make you uneasy—it’s easy to get lost in the worry. The weight of it all can feel unbearable. But I refuse to carry that weight today. Instead, I choose joy.

This morning, I made a cup of white tea. Simple, right? But in that moment, as the steam curled into the air and the warmth seeped into my hands, I felt a spark of something I desperately needed—peace, lightness, joy. And I realized, this is how I fight back. Joy is the resistance.

You will not have me worrying over things I cannot change. You will not steal my smile, my clear head, or my vigilance. I will not drown in fear or be consumed by anxiety. Instead, I will lean into moments that bring me joy, because that is my rebellion. That is my way of saying, "I see the chaos, but I will not be overtaken by it."

Joy is not ignorance. Joy is not passivity. Joy is strength. It is standing firm in the face of a world that wants you weary. It is choosing to laugh, to rest, to embrace the good when it feels like everything is pulling you toward despair.

So today, I challenge you—find your spark. Maybe it’s a cup of tea, a walk in the fresh air, a song that lifts your spirit. Whatever it is, lean into it. Let it fill you up. Let it be your resistance.

Because joy? Joy is ours to keep, and no one can take it unless we let them.

…. Do it all! Try it! Really push yourself to complete what you started and when you are done leave it all on the field. Go as hard as you can, because we only have this moment. If not now then when?

When I think about the statement, ‘Leave it on the field,’ I visualize someone playing football. They have minutes left in the 4th Qtr. and it’s time for them to run the ball with one more attempt to score. They are sweating and the pressure is on, they have so many thoughts at once. They lock-in focus and score the game winning touchdown. They look at the crowd and smile-they literally, leave it all on the field, walk away and do it again the next game.

We really have to master putting ourselves all in the game and walking away. So often, we are afraid to simply try.

In a world that's constantly buzzing with activity and demands, it's easy to lose sight of who we are at our core. The journey to finding yourself isn't a destination, but rather an ongoing process of self-discovery, growth, and evolution. Whether you're feeling a bit lost, or simply seeking to understand yourself better, this journey can be both challenging and incredibly rewarding.

Why Finding Yourself Matters

Finding yourself is about more than just figuring out what you like or don't like—it's about understanding your values, passions, strengths, and weaknesses. It's about peeling back the layers of societal expectations, family pressures, and self-imposed limitations to uncover the real you. When you know who you are, you're better equipped to make decisions that align with your true self, leading to a more fulfilling and authentic life.

Steps to Start Your Journey

1. Spend Time Alone

   In a world filled with noise and distractions, solitude can be a powerful tool. Spend time alone to reflect, meditate, or simply sit in silence.

2. Explore Your Interests

   What lights you up? What activities make you lose track of time? Engage in hobbies and activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.

3. Reflect on Your Values

   Your values are the principles that guide your life. Take time to reflect on what truly matters to you.

4. Embrace Change and Uncertainty

   Finding yourself often involves stepping out of your comfort zone. .

5. Seek Inspiration

   Surround yourself with people who inspire you and encourage your growth. Read books, listen to podcasts, or attend workshops that challenge your perspective and push you to think deeper about who you are.

6. Be Kind to Yourself

   The journey of self-discovery is not always easy, and it's important to practice self-compassion along the way.

Embrace Your Authentic Self

As you continue on your journey of self-discovery, remember that finding yourself is not about becoming someone new, but about uncovering the person you’ve always been. It's about embracing your unique qualities, acknowledging your flaws, and celebrating your strengths. The more you understand and accept yourself, the more confident and empowered you'll feel to live a life that's true to who you are.

In the end, finding yourself is a lifelong journey. It's about continuously learning, growing, and evolving. So, take a deep breath, trust the process, and enjoy the beautiful journey of discovering who you truly are.

My focus is to maintain my peace despite the situation. Just making that my focus God will allow things into my life that disrupt my flow, so that I can practice.

I’m working on my response to life. Life will happen to all of us- learning to manage my energy around this will help me operate in peace. My goal is to honor myself and move in an authentic way to and for me. There is beauty in stillness. There is grace in the quiet moments. The unraveling will happen, losing my cool will happen. Learning to manage my emotions and energy is the gift.

Keeping a clear head in the midst of a storm is true peace.

Fear is a powerful emotion, often overwhelming us in moments of uncertainty or when we step outside our comfort zones. But what if I told you that fear is reversible? That the very thing that seems to paralyze you can be transformed, and that within you lies the power to create a sense of safety and peace, even in the face of fear?

Understanding Fear: A Made-Up Concept

At its core, fear is a survival mechanism designed to protect us from danger. However, many of the fears we experience in our daily lives aren’t based on real, immediate threats. Instead, they’re often tied to ideas, perceptions, or imagined scenarios—things that, in reality, pose no true danger to us.

Training Your Mind to Create Safety

The good news is that just as your mind can create fear, it can also create safety.

Here’s how you can start:

1. Acknowledge the Fear: The first step in overcoming fear is to acknowledge it. Instead of avoiding or suppressing it, face it head-on. Identify what exactly you’re afraid of and why.

2. Challenge Negative Thoughts: Fear often stems from negative thoughts that spiral out of control. When you notice these thoughts creeping in, challenge them. Ask yourself: “Is this fear based on reality or assumptions?” “What evidence do I have that supports this fear?”

3. Shift Your Perspective: Reframe your fear by looking at it from a different angle. Instead of seeing it as a threat, view it as an opportunity for growth.

4. Practice Positive Affirmations: Your positive thoughts are stronger than your negative ones. Use positive affirmations to reinforce your ability to overcome fear. Repeat statements like “I am capable,” “I am safe,” or “I can handle this.”

5. Take Gradual Steps: Confronting fear doesn’t mean you have to take a giant leap all at once. Start with small, manageable steps that gradually expose you to what you fear. Each step you take builds your confidence and weakens the grip of fear.

I sleep but I don’t really sit around and rest. It makes me feel lazy, but lately I haven’t had much of a choice. I have been pulled into a much needed resting era. I am slowly learning what rest isn’t… It isn’t long walks or longer bike rides.

Rest reset and sit in stillness. Be at peace with this moment.

As I continue to work on ways I rest, I’ve found a few things I like.

Routine- has some how inspired me to rest. I know when I have breaks and I don’t feel guilty for taking them.

A scent- having a signature scent I spray on the sheets (peppermint) and rub on me (Shayne) helps to relax my mind. It signals to me it’s time to quiet my thoughts.

Warm light bulbs- It gives the house a spa like feel and your body starts to settle down with softer light.

Everyone needs rest, take a second and learn what works for you.

I’m being stretched to get used to the two P’s, peace and patience, and it is not an easy journey. Trying to remain calm while waiting is hard.

Think about when you are at a green light and traffic is moving slow and you’ve had to wait at that same light for four rotations- I’m sure your patience is stretched thin. I’ve told myself it’s time to stop reaching for instant gratification and learn to enjoy the journey.

The beauty is in the process. Peace is in the finish and patience is a discipline I’m working to master.

Things I’m trying during this journey.

• Finishing what I start, no breaks keep working until the task is done.

• Read the entire article. (from start to end)

• Not rushing to do anything.

• Moving my body. (a quick walk, short bike ride, stretch) Moving helps me to release pent up energy.

• Listen to your body and be mindful of the changes.

  Embracing Inner Stillness: A Journey of Self-Discovery

  As I sit here, enveloped in a blanket of silence, I can't help but wonder: What is my gut telling me? What energy surrounds me in this moment? It's a ritual I've come to cherish, a simple act of sitting in complete tranquility and taking three long, deep breaths.

  With each inhale and exhale, I draw upon my inner energy, seeking to unearth what lies beneath the surface. These clearing breaths serve as a gateway to my innermost thoughts and feelings. In the stillness, I invite the presence of the holy spirit, allowing it to settle my restless energy.

  It's in these moments of quiet reflection that clarity emerges, and with it, a sense of confidence washes over me. Suddenly, I realize that whatever challenges lie ahead, I possess the strength to overcome them. My gut instinct becomes my guiding light, leading me through life's twists and turns.

  For some, creating a calming atmosphere involves the use of scents, candles, or incense. These external aids can help to quiet the mind and open the channels of intuition. But ultimately, it's the act of stillness itself that holds the greatest power.

  I encourage you to join me in this practice. Take a moment now to pause, to breathe, and to listen. What whispers of wisdom rise to the surface when you quiet the noise around you? Embrace the silence, and let it guide you on your journey of self-discovery.

ihome Zenergy- I got this as a gift and it changed my life. I fall asleep to the sounds of a spa.

Incense- I relax through smell. I know this is weird but if it smells right I can sleep all night- literally. I normally light this as I lay down to say my prayers and the next thing you know I’m sleeping. Don’t worry it burns out on it’s own. I keep it in a ceramic bowl with sand to catch the ashes.

Every good day ends with a cup of tea. This is my current obsession.

One last thing- this is life! I don’t go anywhere without my shower spray. I used to go to the Four Seasons all the time and this is what they use in their steam sauna. Trust me it is a game changer!

My Brother died in september.

I’m one of seven children, and my 3rd oldest brother died September 2020. While coping with grief, I’ve learned a few things about myself. Here is what I learned:

• I process grief through my stomach- I know this sounds weird but it shows up as a stomach ache, nauseous, nervousness, and eating a little too much.

• To truly understand my feelings, I need to write things down. When I write my feelings, I think through and feel all of my emotions- it cleanses me.

• I cried so hard while writing- I busted a vessel in my eye.

  • I tried to remind myself I am human and to be human means I will feel things. So here is to all the feelings that are in this world to be felt.

I remember the day I discovered this about myself. I was at a small dinner party in Brooklyn- at a friend’s house. She served a three course meal, with each dish being better than the last. As we feasted on dessert and endless glasses of wine- I told a group of friends I could read people (which I couldn’t to my knowledge.)

My friend Ashlie, told me to read her. I sat still for a second and then the words just started to flow from me. She later whispered to me- dag girl you were spot on. One-by-one I went around the table of four saying information I had no clue I knew. Each person confirming it was true.

Growing up, I remember incidents and prophetic dreams that scared me but I never knew I had this gift. I’ve shared and practiced on family and friends-since that night.

When I think of that moment- I am reminded of this- She was discovering her love for cooking and I was discovering a gift that was buried below the depths of my trauma.

If you want me to read you…Click here.